Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
