Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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