i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
