I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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