How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Apparently you make a good broom.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
