you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
