You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
