That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
