My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
