Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
