don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
