I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
