he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She bit a glass in half.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
