i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
