so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
