he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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