How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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