Can Purell be used as lube?
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
