Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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