Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i just had sex bonerless
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
