we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
