when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
