You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
