white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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