Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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