I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
