but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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