come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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