my sisters under your porch take her home
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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