I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
and you fell through a lawn chair
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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