wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
