The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Randomize
