sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
