I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
