why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
