Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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