No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
