i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
