I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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