ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize
