Whats the glycemic index on semen?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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