Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
we're so committed to being not committed
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
