I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
