....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
