So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
