Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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