dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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