the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
