We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
