he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize