He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
