Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
