Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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