fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
