I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize