i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
