yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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