He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
