"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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