quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
