I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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