it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
