Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
