But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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