i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
