Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I need moral support for this bender
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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