we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
