Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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